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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?